Do NOT Want
by ShowHaru
Summary: All Seychelles wanted was to sleep in and enjoy a quiet afternoon however, her hopes were shattered by a very loud and starving American who loves maple syrup who doesn't love him back. Hinted CanadaxSeychelles


A/N: All characters used in this story do NOT belong to me, they belong to the great creator of Hetalia. This was a collab writing between my friend Kiwi and myself. Before reading, one must know that this may cause dizziness, nausea, and/or heartburn! 8D No Alfred's or maple syrup were fatally harmed in this story! Plus enjoy!!! Due to the fact that Seychelles LACKS a name we just called her Ester XD it seemed like a name that fit her. ((once her name IS released then I shall change it))

~**~

It was like every other morning for Ester; loud and annoying. The source of the annoyance was none other then the personification of the United States of America, Alfred F. Jones.

Really…did she always have to wake up with a pounding headache every time the hyperactive blond stayed over for the night. And no…she honestly didn't want to have to deal with someone as loud as Alfred so early in the morning.

"Ester! I can't find the milk! The only thing in the fridge is this bag…with some kind of white liquid in it…" she heard him laugh and walk into her bedroom and held it up for her to see. Sighing heavily, Ester pinched the bridge of her nose and buried her head warily into her pillow.

"Al…that IS the milk. In Canada, milk comes in a bag instead of a plastic carton."

"Seriously! Wow…umm…how do I get it…open?" Alfred jiggled the bag into making sloshing noises and giggled to himself.

Ester groaned in exhaustion, lifted her head up from her pillow, and squinted at him as he played with the bag of milk, clearly entertained by it like a child with a new toy.

"Oh and I'm hungry, feed me." Alfred's stomach made an inhuman yowling noise as though a cat was being run over by a lawn mower.

"I'm not your mother and I'm not your wife, go make your own breakfast." Grumbling as Ester rolled over and tugged her blanket up and over her head, trying desperately to get back to bed.

Aghast with being brushed off, still being hungry and milkless Alfred sulked in a corner lamenting the horrible life he was dealt. Though she couldn't see him anymore, the blanket failed miserably at blocking out his insentient whining.

'What a baby…' Ester thought as she tried to drown out the whimpering annoyance. Hell, compared to this Matthew snores like a chainsaw and I have to sleep in the same bed as him! Sadly, he wasn't here to give his annoying older brother his full and complete attention being as he was away with his Boss on a important meeting with Sweden. Letting out a depressed sigh, Ester pushed back her covers and stared at the back of Alfred's head.

'_Great…now I'm too depressed to go back to sleep…'_

She missed Matthew already and he even called her last night to make sure that she was doing all right. Secretly she suspected he called more to make sure she hadn't strangled Alfred to death. Kicking her covers off her body, Ester crawled out of bed and winced when her feet touched the cold floor. She really didn't feel like wallowing in her bed all day so might as well feed her newly acquired pet. Taking a deep breathe, Ester walked over to Alfred, snatched the already warm bag of milk from his clutches and shoved him a bit with her foot.

"Come on…I'll make you some pancakes or something…just stop sulking."

"Oh my god! I love you!" Alfred said happily standing up quickly and throwing his arms around the smaller nation. "I knew there was a reason Matthew liked you so much!"

Squirming out of his grip before he smothered her to death, Ester walked into the kitchen and frowned slightly at the warm bag of milk in her hand.

'_Sometimes I wonder if Arthur really DID drop that boy on his head…_'

~**~

Humming a little tune to herself to wake herself up, she started to pull out all the ingredients' she needed, a bowl and the pancake mix. Alfred, who bounded into the kitchen like a excited puppy, sat down on a stool and watched her pour the milk into the bowl with the mix. "So…are they done yet?"

Ester just glared as she pulled out the syrup and put it off to the side for when the pancakes were done.

"Are they done yet?"

"No."

"And now, are they done?"

Just ignoring Alfred for the sake of her sanity, Ester added the pancakes mix and other ingredients together and turned on the stove. Alfred's mindless drabble continued something about barrel rolling off the Niagara Falls and it being better then a roller coaster considering it had no safety features. Giving him an irritated stare, Ester dropped the plate of finished pancakes in front of Alfred, sat on the opposite side of the table, and opened the newspaper.

"PANCAKES!" Alfred started to shovel the food down into what Ester declared the Black Hole of No Return. "Oh my god, this is better then sex!" he moaned happily through a mouthful. Looking up from the rim of her teacup, Ester raised an eyebrow at him and mumbled under her breathe, "You never even had sex…"

"Hmm…whatcha yas sawys Essthers?"

"Oh nothing, just talking to myself. Just continue shoveling down those pancakes." Ester chirped happily, dusting off the crumbs Alfred spit onto her paper, as she read the newest article on how the French and England ambassadors' were meeting today. '_Oh looks like Francis and Arthur are going to have a fun day together_.'

Now to make things clear on Alfred's thought process there's one thing you need to know. There is no process, just a random vomiting of his brain that spews forth out of his mouth and into the ears of the unexpecting public that neither betters the world nor enriches it. So when Alfred suddenly reaches for the syrup to quench his thirst you shouldn't be surprised or shocked at the idea that he finds this a very, VERY, good idea.

So while Ester enriches her mind with the daily paper Alfred chugs down the maple syrup with delight and joy. The sound of something, liquid for the matter of fact, being chugged down like it was a beer made Ester frown slightly as she finished reading the article she was currently focused on.

'_What the hell…could he be drinking?_' she thought sourly.

"Alfred…" she finally asked when all she could hear was the sound of him gulping down who knows what.

Gulp…gulp…gulp…

Letting out an annoyed grumble, Ester set down her cup and blew a strand of her hair out of her face. "Alfred! Really what are you drinking?" She lowered the paper and regretting it.

There was Alfred, chugging down the ENTIRE bottle of maple syrup as if it was a glass of orange juice. '_Would you like some maple syrup with that maple syrup? Or maybe even a shot of maple syrup with that maple syrup…oh Alfred' _she thought as she covered her face with her hands and let out a deep sigh. '_God knows he tries….'_

"WHOA! That's some good stuff!" Alfred yelled slamming the empty bottle down on the top like he just downed a cold glass of cold milk. Peeking up from behind her hands, Ester started at the grinning moron and gave him a weak smile.

"You done?"

Holding up his finger, which she took as 'give me a second', let out a loud belch and shot her that infamous crooked grin.

"Yup! So, when is Matt coming home?"

Giving him a strained smile, Ester looked up at the kitchen clock, "He'll actually be here in an hour? Why, am I not good enough entertainment as Matthew, mhmm?" She asked warily, resting her chin in her palm and stared curiously at Alfred.

"No, you're a lot of fun. Just thinking that you must miss him."

Blinking in surprised, Ester looked at Alfred in shock. In all the years she's know him she had never heard him say ANYTHING considerate towards someone else's feelings other then his own. She didn't even know he had a single considerate thought in his entire head. "Wow…I'm impressed Alfred. I never knew that you could say something so considera-"

She stopped when she noticed that Alfred just smiled at her and that he was turning an odd shade of green. "Alfred…are you ok-" Without much of a warning, Alfred turned his head to the side and threw up.

All that syrup was bound to come up sometime. No being in the world could down an entire jar of maple syrup without either having a heart attack or getting sick.

Ester could just stare blankly at him as he sat back up, wiping his mouth against the sleeve of his shirt completely pale, and gave her a weak smile. "Why did you let me drink that syrup…??"

'_I'm gonna kill him…'_

_~**~_

About 10 minutes away Matthew was having similar problems, well, perhaps not the exact same problems, but he was dealing with quite a bit of verbal diarrhea. The sort that spewed forth from his cell phone as he tried to make his way home.

"Blah blah blah yackity smackity listen to me. I'm the boss, blahblahblah" Okay they weren't the exact words coming out of his boss's mouth but it could be a rough translation to what he was implying and frankly it wasn't looking good. Not at all.

"Yes…yes I understand." Matthew tried to say to but more ranting coming from the other side of his phone cut him off. Sighing in annoyance, Matthew stared at the phone in his hand and let his Boss continue yelling until he said 'they'll talk about it next meeting, blah blah' and hung up on Matthew. "That went…well…"

Flipping the phone closed he finally pulled into his driveway and let out a sigh of relief. Finally he was home…he could relax and not have to deal with politics and annoying business people and just be plain ol' Matthew Williams for about a week.

Sadly, his whole plain of getting some peace and quiet weren't going to happen.

As he set down his bags in the hallway and Kumachiro wondered off to go find a sunspot to sleep in, Matthew walked into the living to see Alfred lying on the couch with a wet towel on over his eyes. "Alfred….are you okay?"

"Noo moore maple syrup!!" the other blond moaned out flailing his arms about dramatically. Groaning in pain, Alfred clutched his stomach and rolled over, dragging his blanket with him, and burying his face into the couch cushions. Matthew just slowly raised an eyebrow at the anguished blob of blanket and pillows that was now his older brother and wondered what had happened. _'Apparently maple syrup has to do with it._' He thought as he walked into the kitchen only to gag as a mixture of bleach, Pine Fresh, maple syrup and the sour smell of, and he gagged slightly at the very thought of it, vomit hit his nose. Clamping a hand over his nose, Matthew peeked around the kitchen counter to spot a very irritated Ester, who was currently on her hands and knees on the floor scrubbing vigorously at the floor, grumbling under her breathe in her native language.

"Well looks like Alfred and you had a fun time while I was gone, eh?"

Halting abruptly in her cleaning, Ester looked up at him with a mixture of expressions, all of which contradicted each other. Her eyes shined bright and happy, her eyebrows were drawn down in annoyance, and her lips were drawn down into a pout. "I hate your brother…would it be considered genocide if we get rid of him?"

Laughing, Matthew walked around the counter and helped Ester to her feet, and tried to lean in to give her a kiss only to have her turn her head away. Blinking in surprised, and a little hurt that she shot him down like that, Matthew raised an eyebrow, "What's the matter?" Turning a bright shade of red, Ester looked to the side, her brows drawn down in embarrassment and worry, and peeked shyly up at him reply, "I'm…I didn't get to a chance to take my morning shower…a-and…I smell like…bleach…stuff…and I must look awful…" she mumbled the last bit.

Chuckling softly, he lifted his hand to her chin, tilted it up, and gave her a gentle smile. "You look and smell fine to me."

Feeling her face flush, Ester mustered a weak smile and murmured, "I missed you…welcome home…"

The two leaned closer to each other just letting the trials of the day draw them together into a sweet embrace.

"I really did miss you, you know." Ester leaned into Mathew's chest and breathed in.

Mathew smiled, stroking her hair with one hand while guiding her face to his. "If at all possible I think I might have missed you more." Guiding her face to his to what was to be a sweet joining of lips a crunch was heard.

Eye's darting to the side revealed one Alfred F. Jones gorging himself on a bowl of popcorn that he acquired from god knows where.

"You guys are doing it wrong." Propping the bowl on his hip Alfred moved forward to the frozen pair grabbing Mathews' left hand, moving it to Esters' butt while taking the other one, and moving it to her chest. Stepping back to gaze at the frozen pair he nodded in approval then walked back to the doorway with a handful of popcorn shoved in his mouth.

"You may proceed. If you have any problems or need some pointers just give me a holler. Actually, on second thought Mathew's a yeller." Alfred thought for a moment before continuing. "Just shout out Chicago and I'll come help you guys out." Smiling angelically Alfred sparkled his American ass back to the couch to watch some movies and eat some munchies. Very slowly, Ester and Matthew looked at each other; their eyes both narrowed in annoyance, flashed mirrored maniacal grins and nodded.

"Mercy kill…."


End file.
